Marriage is not all light-hearted fun, as most couples would agree. There are often serious, complex issues that arise with regard to money, kids and the relationship itself that have to be discussed candidly and forthrightly. Both of you need to feel free to air your feelings anytime.
If you and your spouse can’t talk to each other in that manner, your marriage already has a huge roadblock that you may not be able to dodge. Divorce might be the last resort, but that is what you may be facing.
Without good communication between you, problems will linger and won’t get resolved. Then, they accumulate.
If, for example, you have a teenager who has been refusing to respond to discipline, you and your spouse need to sit down and talk about what measures to take next. If you can’t do that constructively, your child’s behavior can get more rebellious, which can lead to big-time consequences and worries.
Plan in advance
Challenging conversations shouldn’t take place off the cuff. Doing some careful planning beforehand can make a difference in whether they go smoothly or not.
- Think about exactly why you want to talk and what you would ideally like to accomplish.
- Acknowledge to yourself that when you talk to your spouse, it may not be easy, especially at first. Stay calm, focused and clear in what you say.
- Try to be optimistic.
You should be able to state your ideas and opinions without fear of being shrugged off or having your partner tune you out. Even when the two of you disagree, the tone of your conversations should always be respectful and somewhat positive. If that is rarely happening, there are major issues between you that must be addressed.
You did your best
You believe that you have given your all to open the channels of communication with your partner yet you have not been able to succeed. You can either continue to try or choose to divorce. That is a sad but sometimes necessary step.
